for alwaysno

for endingpoint

[ continued from ( X )

He can see the bruises all over her and he hates even touching her like this because he worries there are even more injuries he can't see; doing CPR is brutal on the body and hers is already so fragile. But he keeps going until she finally, blessedly, takes a breath.

"I'm here, I'm right here," he presses his forehead to hers, holding onto her until the medics rush forward to take her. He's hovering, not wanting to leave her side, and he insists on riding in the ambulance with her, staying right with her the whole time.

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All that she knows in her heart is that she can't let him feel that way, she can't let him think anything is his fault. So, she gets up and sits in his lap, not thinking, just needing to comfort him, cradling his face.

"You've never failed me. You didn't fail me, Kurt. Ever. You didn't. You haven't."

He doesn't know how to believe that, but he's trying. They were getting to a good place together and Carter ruined everything. Tucking his forehead to hers, Kurt's eyes close as he takes a deep breath.

"I'm trying to believe that."

Slowly, Taylor kisses across his face, every press of her lips tender and soft, and with whispered words behind them.

"I'm here with you. And all that I want is to be here. Right here with you." Ending at his lips, she lets a part of her soul into it, hoping he can feel it, feel her.

He keeps his eyes closed as she kisses his skin, letting her soothe him with those kisses. He lets out a soft breath, nuzzling against her cheek. Then her lips are on his and he clings to her, kissing her as deeply as he possibly can.

The kiss takes her breath away, and when she breaks it she stands, reaching for his hand. Then, she leads him to her room and guides him down to the bed before curling up around him, wanting him to be enveloped by her. To know that she's right there with him.

Kurt decides to tuck his head right against her chest, finding comfort in that as his arm wraps around her waist. He turns his head to kiss his chest over her heart, nuzzling and breathing her in. "You came back," he repeats.

"I did. And I was right. I'll always find my way back to you. I think..." She trails off, trying to make sure of what she wants to say.

"I can feel this deeper than just...my heart. I don't know if that makes sense, or if that's what you feel, too," she says quickly, not wanting him to feel any kind of pressure to reciprocate.

"Deeper?" It doesn't sound strange to him, he's just trying to fully understand what she's hinting at. "Down to your soul?"

Looking at him, her fingers trail along his jaw lightly before she nods. "Like I....I was supposed to be here. For this. With you. Always you."

He's never thought much about fate or soulmates, but his mind can't help considering that now. It's fitting for them. Tugging her hand to his lips, he kisses her fingers.

"My whole life. It's been you."

"You don't have to look for me anymore," she promises. And then she kisses him again deeply, her hands cupping his face. She's promising him now, something completely unspoken. Taylor is his, and his alone, always.

His eyes close as he kisses her in return, lips tangling deeply with hers as he clings to her. They'll always be together and that's all he's wanted.

When they go back home, the next few weeks Taylor stays close to him, wanting to see her there, that she isn't going anywhere. She's right there with him. While he's at work on a day she doesn't go, she decides to straighten up, and she finds a box, tucked away with a ring inside. It takes her breath away because she knows, she knows that the only person that could have been for, is her. Before she'd lost her memories again, he wanted to marry her.

She has no idea what to do with the information now that she has it, and she's so shocked as she sits on the edge of the bed that she doesn't even hear him come home.

When he gets home, he has a pizza and a pack of the beer he knows she likes, setting everything down on the counter. "Taylor?" He calls out, looking for her.

Jumping a little, she holds the box to her chest as she stands and looks at him, not sure what to say.

"I...I was...cleaning, and I..." She decides to just be honest, showing him the box as she swallows heavily.

His eyes flicker to the box and he knows what she found. His chest tightens a little and he clears his throat, stepping forward.

"That was...I didn't mean for you to find that."

"But it's...it is...it was for...me?" she asks him quietly, meeting his gaze.

"Yeah. It was for you," he nods, crossing his arms over his chest loosely as he holds her gaze.

Swallowing heavily, Taylor realizes how badly she ruined things when she erased her memory of him. He'd wanted to marry her, and then she'd asked him to let her forget.

Sinking down on the bed again, she just stares at the box in her hands, blinking through suddenly blurry vision. "I'm...I'm sorry, Kurt, I never...I didn't mean to do this to you, to us. I know I wouldn't...I love you, I don't think I ever thought it would ruin so much."

She doesn't even realize what she's said, all that she's aware of is how much she took away from him.

He measures his words carefully, not wanting to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. It did hurt, everything hurt when she made that choice. The human part of him wishes she hadn't needed to make that choice. But the part of him that loves her knows that was the only option that felt possible to her.

"We just...have to move forward now."

Nodding slowly, Taylor reaches out and puts the ring box on the nightstand. "I....I organized your mail and...put it in the drawer. That's how I...I just wanted to help, I didn't mean to find it," she says after standing. She doesn't want him to think she was snooping; she had no reason to be.

She also has to do what he says - move forward. She isn't sure how, but if he can after what she did, then surely she can, too.

"It's okay," he assures her gently, knowing she didn't do this on purpose. But the sight of the ring has him feeling a little dispirited and out of sorts now. He moves to take the box and tuck it away again, out of sight for now.

The rest of the evening feels awkward, she's quiet because she doesn't know what to say. She does ask him about the rest of his work day, manages to settle on a movie with him over dinner. But she feels like she put them a step back with finding the ring.

Kurt isn't consciously thinking about it but he knows he's shut down a little. He's shut down and shut her out and he's trying not to, but he doesn't know what to say about the ring or what to do other than pretend it's not there.

"I'm sorry you...saw that. I didn't mean for you to find it."

"Why are you apologizing?" she asks as she look at him in confusion. "It's not...there's nothing to apologize for." Taylor takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly, realizing she can't sink into this and dwell on the fact that this is because of her, because she wasn't strong enough to deal with whatever happened to her.

"We're in a good place right now. I don't want to lose that."

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