dustofstars | Post-Ep: Any Wounded Thief

Jane hadn't been able to find Patterson or Tasha after work, once Kurt left. Not that she knew what she'd say anyway. 'Please hang out with me because it's my birthday?'

How pathetic.

So, she just goes home, the necklace meaning so much to her that she puts it on before she ever leaves the building. But she goes home alone, not really knowing what she wants to do, changing into sweat pants and a tank top. She rummages in her kitchen and finds a candy bar, a Snickers, and opens it, muttering quietly. "Happy birthday, Taylor."

There's a knock on her door though, and then Kurt's voice comes through and she feels hope flutter in her chest. He's here, he came, and she makes herself wait five seconds before going to the door, that necklace right there resting on her chest, and she looks up at him like he might as well be holding the million dollar prize check.

"Hey. I...thought you had plans with Allie?"

He smiles softly, tilting his head a little as he holds up the bottle. "Plans changed," he offers simply. "Couldn't ditch you on your birthday. And even though you bruised pretty bad earlier, I figured you still deserve a good birthday." He's teasing her, trying to make up for not having come over here to begin with.

Jane smirks a little and rolls her eyes as she lets him in, standing aside to close the door behind him. "Well, you're just in time. I was about to cut into my birthday candy bar. A Snickers. Don't think I've had that one yet."

Since the last time he was here, she's made the place more homey, more comfortable. The drawings in frames above her couch are her own, and she goes to the kitchen to get two glasses and grab the candy bar, fully intending to actually share it with him.

He does notice the drawings and there's a smile on his face as he follows her into the kitchen. When she grabs the glasses, Kurt pours them both drinks.

"Birthday candy bar. I owe you a cake. Just - I can't promise it'll be edible."

"You could always buy me a good cake," she says with an eyebrow arch before taking the glass he offers to her, smiling at him again. She's just so glad he's here, and she smiles again at him, lifting her glass. "To uh...to my birthday, I think."

'Happy Birthday, Jane." Taylor, he thinks, clinking his glass against hers. "Your favorite cake when you were little was Funfetti," he smiles, knowing she has no idea what her favorite cake even is these days. "I'll figure something out, I promise." She deserves a good cake, he's determined to give her that.

"Funfetti? Well. I was five," she says, though her smile isn't quite as bright, since she knows what happened then, and she clears her throat, moving to the couch to sit with him.

"I'm really glad you're okay, by the way. You started getting sick and I thought...maybe I was too late."

He's had two close calls in a short amount of time, he realizes, but he doesn't think much of it. "All that mattered was you," he confesses, not even realizing how that sounds.

"I'm not..." She almost says she's not that important, but she knows, without a doubt, that Kurt would never see it that way.

"Don't die because of me. Someone else already has."

It's not a subject he feels the need to dwell on. It's her birthday, he wants this to be happy for them. Taking a sip of the bourbon, he nods at the candy bar. "You first. Make a wish."

Jane unwraps it first, smiling softly and staring at the candy bar, really thinking about it, about her wish. She wishes she wasn't who she is, that she was someone uncomplicated, with no past that's questionable. Someone Kurt could be with the way he's with Allie. Someone he could love, maybe. Someone other than Taylor Shaw.

She wants him. But wishes are for kids, and there's too much now, she's fucked up too badly, there are too many secrets she's kept. Breaking the candy bar in half, she smiles softly and hands him the other half. "Let's see if my paperwork really does get taken care of by itself after cases. Like magic."

He knows that's not what she wished for, but he smiles softly, taking the other half. "You never know," he offers in support, taking a bite of the candy bar then jerking his head a little to the left. "Let's sit down."

Back in the living room, he looks at the drawings on the walls. "You did these." He knows, he just knows.

"I...yeah. How did you...?"

She should have known, he knows just about everything about her except for the things she's kept from him.

"I like to draw. A lot. It's one of the only things I know I really like. I go through a sketch book every other week, it seems like."

"You drew pictures all the time. Your mom kept them in a scrapbook. You used to draw pictures for me, too." And he still has the last picture she drew for him in a frame in his room. It's a picture of their families together on a picnic in a meadow, something he's always cherished.

She takes that information and tucks it close to her heart, that she was little Taylor Shaw who had a passion for drawing. And she remembers now, that he was at her memorial, that he was there to comfort her mother, and she swallows softly.

"What, um...what was my mother like?" she asks quietly, reaching up and touching the necklace resting on her chest.

It's a painful subject, so he's not sure he wants to go down this road with her, but it's her right to ask him and he won't deny her that.

"Strong. Brave. Kind. She'd help anyone. And you...you were her world. Her whole world," he takes a deep breath. He'd done his best to be a comfort to Emma Shaw in the twenty-five years since Taylor had disappeared, but nothing would ever fill that void her daughter left behind. She'd always told him it wasn't his fault.

"We used to-" He shakes his head. "She understood the way I felt. No one else did, but she did. She took care of me when I was a kid, so I tried to take care of her, too."

"I'm...I'm really glad she had you, Kurt. Thank you," she says softly, reaching out to hold onto his hand.

"You...you never gave up on me. I know that, but I...I can see it, in your eyes. And I just wish...I'm sorry I couldn't come back to you sooner," Jane says quietly.

"We had each other." Looking down at their hands, Kurt shifts to wrap his around hers more firmly. "It doesn't matter when you came back. Just...that you're here. You're safe now." That's all he's ever wanted, his whole life.

"I'm sorry," Jane says again, still holding onto him. "About...everything." She has no idea what she's doing and closes her eyes, trying to shut up the voice in her head that says she's going to get him killed.

"I know that you came here to cheer me up. I don't want to ruin that." She caves, gives in to not telling him, again, and pours more to drink for both of them.

Kurt is oblivious, of course, has no idea that she's hiding so much from him. All he knows is that she got scared after she kissed him, decided it was a mistake and she had to push him away. He doesn't even need to know, doesn't need her to tell him her reasons, that's her choice.

"I just want you to have a good birthday."

"That's...that's the thing, Kurt," she says as she finally looks at him again. "It was never going to be a good birthday. Not without you."

Her voice is quiet when she says that, and she means it, the truth of it is shining in her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He squeezes her hand again, sipping at the bourbon and standing up. "But a candy bar isn't gonna cut it." He reaches for his phone, pulling up some numbers. He's gotten to know her taste in food, knows she appreciates really good pizza, so he orders one with her favorite toppings to be delivered. "Pizza and a movie? There's gotta be something on pay per view." He sits back down, shoulder to shoulder with her.

He has no idea, he's doing this for her, being with her, and he has no idea who she really is, what she's done, and she nods mutely, swallowing hard as she blinks quickly, managing to keep tears at bay.

"You guys pay my cable bill, so." Jane tries to joke, tries to push through the guilt as she leans against him a little.

"You're gonna have to pay all that back eventually, you know," he teases her again, letting his lighter side come out. He's trying not to be so damn serious all the time, and she deserves it tonight for her birthday at least.

Clicking through the listings, he finds a comedy for them to watch and sets the remote aside, stretching his legs out and kicking back until the pizza arrives.

She laughs softly, and as they relax, she leans against him, her head gradually coming to rest against his shoulder. All she really wants is this, this closeness, and she only pulls away when the pizza arrives, letting him get up to grab it as she gets plates and napkins from the kitchen. He seems so happy, joking and laughing with her, and she smiles a little to herself, forgetting that there are other things between them and living right now, in this moment.

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