Post-Ep: Any Wounded Thief

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In hindsight, he realizes maybe making plans with Allie tonight of all nights wasn't the best idea. He's been so unsure where things stand between him and Jane that he hadn't thought she'd even want to go out with him. He shouldn't have assumed something one way or another, though. The look on her face still cuts a knife through his heart, and he makes up some excuse with Allie that he knows she's not buying.

He doesn't know what he's doing with Allie, he really doesn't. He loves her, on some level. He knows that. They have fun together, he's happy with her. But he doesn't know what any of that really means in the long-term.

For now, though, he stops off at the store to buy a bottle of bourbon, walking over to Jane's safe house and hoping she's there.

"Jane. It's me."

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Holding onto his face, she looks right into his eyes now. "I got you killed," she whispers, chin trembling. "It was my fault. That bomb went off because of me, they wanted you dead because of me, they killed you because of me," she says, hyperventilating a bit.

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She's just completely panicking, and Kurt reaches out, taking one of her hands and pressing it to his chest. "Jane, I'm alive. I'm with you. Baby, I'm right here."

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"....How?" she asks, looking at him in complete disbelief. "I watched....I saw the explosion..."

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"I don't...I don't remember much. They pulled me out somehow, I was...they kept sedated for a month. I wanted to get back to you the moment I woke up," he breathes out, suddenly pressing his forehead to hers. "I just wanted to be with you."

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Jane doesn't even know what to say, and she leans in against him again, sinking in against Kurt, burying herself in his arms and holding onto him tightly.

"You left me," she whispers brokenly.

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Kurt's heart just immediately breaks as he keeps his arms around her. "I'm sorry," he murmurs quietly. "I didn't...I didn't want to, I wanted to be with you." He never wanted to leave her.

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"I know," she says quietly, just completely mentally wiped, sagging against him. "They were trying to kill me, anyway. You just...you love me. That's why this happened." Jane closes her eyes and just tries to calm down. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm sorry this happened to you, and Sarah, and Sawyer."

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He knows she's going to keep blaming herself for this, he'd already prepared for that. And he has absolutely no idea how to fix that, because he carried his own guilt around for 25 years. Hearing from her was what helped him finally start to let go. But he doesn't know if he's enough now.

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't."

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She takes a deep shaky breath as her hand presses to his heartbeat right over his chest. "They're...they're dead? They won't..they can't hurt you anymore?" A part of her just can't believe that this all happened and then she realizes:

"Mayfair knew. She had to. And she let me...let all of us..." She'd let Jane spiral until she was nearly nothing.

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He doesn't know what to say about Mayfair right now. It's troubling, certainly. "They're dead." His hand just covers hers lightly, holding onto her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he keeps repeating.

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Jane isn't even sure what to do from here. "I kept...all of your things, I have...I have everything," she says. She didn't change anything about the apartment, she didn't even add her own things. Everything she has, was - is - Kurt's. Even the shirt she's wearing is his.

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"Jane..." He doesn't know what to think or say; she was living in a tomb, essentially, unable to move forward with her life, just wanting to be surrounded by him. "You kept everything?"

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"I didn't...I couldn't..." she looks down, struggling. "I couldn't throw you away. I didn't...I couldn't," Jane confesses, voice breaking.

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"Jane, can we..." They're sitting on the ground, just sitting there, and it's not enough. "I just wanna hold you." In bed. In the bed they shared together. It's the best way he knows to comfort her.

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She nods and slowly stands up, and again it's clear that she's so slight, though she's toned. She takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom where again, everything's the same and she curls up in bed with him, right against his side.

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He wants to be skin to skin again, liked they used to, but with his scars and with everything so raw right now, he knows it's not a good idea. Tugging the blankets around them both, he just holds onto her, kissing her forehead and temple, stroking his fingers up and down her arm.

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She can't stop looking at him, her fingers moving over his face over and over again, unable to stop. "I'm so afraid to close my eyes. If...if you disappear, if you're suddenly gone....I won't...Kurt, I can't do this anymore," she admits. "Every day is...it's for Sarah. So she's not alone. If you're not...if I'm dreaming, I don't want to wake up. Ever."

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"Baby," he murmurs huskily, cradling her face for a moment so their eyes can meet. "When you wake up in the morning, I'm gonna be right here. Holding you. I'm not going anywhere."

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He's calling her baby, he's holding onto her, and she nods slowly, clinging to him. But it's still after midnight before she finally falls asleep, her head resting right over his chest.

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Kurt is having a hard time falling asleep; he's too troubled by everything that he's seen and talked about tonight. He's worried for Jane, so damn worried, and he can't stop thinking about her, wanting to just watch over her while she sleeps.

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Her slip isn't that peaceful, tossing and turning even though she never seems to wake up. It's only about four in the morning that she finally goes still, her body too exhausted to keep moving. But she begins to wake fully at seven in the morning, telling herself not to open her eyes yet, just in case. Instead, she just whispers his name softly, like she's afraid he's already gone.

"...Kurt?"

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He's tired, but he moves quickly, lips pressing to her temple, lingering there while his fingers stroke her hair. "I'm here, baby."

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She can't believe it, but now it's beginning to sink in and she cries, but this time it's in sheer relief as her arms wrap around him, her face pressing to his neck. "I love you," she manages. "God, I never thought I'd be able to say that to you again. I love you. I love you, Kurt..."

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He understands why this is so hard for her to grasp, after so many months of believing he was truly gone forever. Stroking the curves of her cheek, his voice is soft and tender. "I love you more than anything, Jane."

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"Where...where did they have you?" she asks him quietly, just needing to know, needing to know how far away he was.