dustofstars | for endingpoint

His eyes close and he lets out a soft groan, unable to help himself. Licking his lips, he loses his train of thought completely for a moment. "I...what?" Then he clears his throat, hand moving to cover hers. "I'm sure. But you're making it really hard to stick to that..." Kurt chuckles softly under his breath, fingers stroking along her arm.

"I would say I'm sorry, but I'd be lying," Taylor breathes out against his ear. But she doesn't push. She wants him ready to indulge in her at the cabin.

"Let's get out and go back. I have a few more places I'd like to explore out of the water," she teases with a grin.

He doesn't want to. God, he really doesn't want to leave the hot springs. But he can't think of a good reason to say no, and it'll be worse to delay the inevitable.

"Let's go," he nods. But he turns to face her, kissing her lips for a moment, just lingering. Then, he steps out of the hot springs and dries off.

For a few moments, she just watches him, appreciating the view, biting at her bottom lip with a grin before following. It's as she's wrapping the towel around herself that her smile fades and she's blinking quickly, searching his eyes, his face.

"...We...I was..." Her heart feels like it's beating too quickly, and she swallows heavily. Her fingers brush against her lips, still able to feel his against hers, and Taylor's eyes close, so overwhelmed with information, but even so, she reaches for him, needing an anchor.

He doesn't even know what to say because he knew this would happen. The brief moment of happiness in the water would eventually go away, and he's not sure if she's pleased with what happened, with the memories she'd experienced. When she reaches for him, though, Kurt holds onto her.

Opening her eyes again, she looks at him, holding his gaze and then reaching out with her opposite hand, shaking, touching his cheek lightly as a hundred questions race through her mind.

"Do you..." she swallows, wetting her lips. "You have those memories too, don't you?" Taylor manages to get out.

"Yeah," he nods, covering her hand with his, squeezing gently to offer support. He knows this is so much more complicated now.

Instead of stepping away from him, she steps closer and presses her cheek to his chest, closing her eyes. They were married, but not really. Somehow this is real, but not real. Maybe it's something they both want, deep down. She isn't sure. But she wants him to know she isn't running from him or pushing him away.

"I need...I need a minute," Taylor says quietly. "But it's...I'm okay, I just..." She needs him to understand, and she pulls back to look up at him. "It's okay."

He does understand. Completely. His touch is light and gentle when she presses close and he just keeps a hold on her for a moment before nodding. "I get it. I understand, I promise."

Nodding gratefully, Taylor can't quite smile, though she tries. The towel is tight around her as she ducks down to grab her underwear and go back to the cabin where she closes herself in her room for most of the afternoon. It's not because she wants to avoid him, but she needs to have a clear head, she needs to think about what this is, what it means.

If he loves her - if he really does love her - this has been agony for him. She's been lost to him now for so long, and he's let her realize her own feelings as they come. It makes her ache for him, and when she comes out for dinner, she's dressed in soft pants and a zip up hoodie with nothing underneath it, not seeing him immediately.

"...Kurt?"

He's been unsettled the whole day, not knowing what she's thinking, if it's good or bad. When she steps out of that room, will she be upset with him for bringing her here? Will she regret the memories that surfaced in the hot springs? Has he made a terrible mistake?

He's wearing jeans and a thick hoodie, standing in the kitchen and just pouring himself some Bourbon. But he hears his name and turns around.

"Hey."

She gives him just a little smile, standing on one side of the kitchen island, fidgeting with her own fingers as she looks down, searching for the right words.

"I...think..." Pausing, she starts again and looks up at him this time. "I know I could fall in love with you. I could be like that. But I'm...afraid." Taylor drops her hands, trying to be still for a moment.

"I lost you, and then I found you. Then I lost you again. But I think...I think that hurts you more than you want me to know."

It does hurt. It hurts like hell. Because he's lost her over and over again, too. But they're both in pain, he's not the only one dealing with something hard and painful.

"This isn't about me," he breathes out.

"You're right," she agrees, stepping around so that she's right in front of him. "It's about both of us. And if this is too...much, if I'm...if everything that has happened, or might happen is too much, I understand."

Her eyes are trained on his, waiting on what he'll say to that. He's been hurt, so much, and she can't just ignore it.

He holds her gaze, just standing there for a moment, studying her, trying to figure out what she's ready for, what he can do without scaring her. And he steps forward, cradling her face in his hand, and then kisses her so softly on the lips.

The kiss isn't what she expected, but in reaction, her hand reaches out to rest on his neck. She has no idea if this is a good idea for the two of them, if they really should do this. But she knows that he loves her, and she was serious when she said she wanted to try.

Once she processes that he's kissing her, Taylor kisses back, lips pressing to his as her head tilts to the side.

He feels like it's unfair to kiss her when he's not sure if she feels the same way yet. She thinks she could fall in love with him but it's no guarantee. But then she's kissing him back and he kisses her, too, not wanting to pull away just yet. He wants this with her, wants to melt into her.

Bringing a hand to the back of his head, she pulls back just a little but stays anchored to him. Her forehead presses to his, and she doesn't move from his space, doesn't push away.

"I want this," she says quietly. "I want to be....more. With you."

Taking a deep breath, Kurt reaches out to tuck some hair behind her ear, his touch gentle and almost self-soothing for him.

"You're sure? I don't want you doing this because of me, because you feel like you have to."

Reaching out, her fingers drag over the back of his hand lightly. "I don't feel like I have to. I feel like..." She trails off, ducking her head and letting out a soft laugh that's more shy and nervous than anything.

"This sounds...insane, maybe. But...I feel like...I'm supposed to. Like you're the start of something for me. My starting point."

She's said it to him before, has no memory of it, and yet, there it is, the same feelings - and she couldn't possibly know.

He almost can't believe he's hearing those words for a moment. It's exactly what she'd said to him once, when he knew she'd been about to kiss him and it had scared him at first.

Lacing their fingers together, Kurt's eyes are cast downward and he smiles softly. "You said that to me before. You said I was your starting point."

Laughing just softly, Taylor looks up at him, squeezing his hand. "I think I have really good taste," she teases lightly. And then, she lets her nose nuzzle against the side of his affectionately.

The tension he'd been holding onto finally loosens and he feels like he can catch his breath at last. Smiling, his knuckles brush over her cheek tenderly. "You told me you'd love me again. When I told you to think about doing it, wiping your memories - you said you would."

"I don't think I was wrong," Taylor whispers softly, pressing her forehead to his. "Kurt, I think I was right. Because I know. I can..." She reaches for his hand and then brings it to her chest, over her heart.

"I can feel it. I've been able to feel it, but I didn't know what it was, until...I thought I'd felt it for ten years already."

He flattens his palm against her chest, nuzzling slightly against her cheek. "Something's always gonna bring us back together."

for endingpoint

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