dustofstars | for endingpoint

Taylor has no idea where they're going, but she knows she doesn't care. They're going together, she's with him, and it's perfect. When he rests his cheek on her head, she smiles softly, shifting further into him, and she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is where she wants to be.

When they make it to Staten Island and get off the ferry, Kurt takes her hand. It's less chaotic here, but it's dark and there are still a lot of people; he wants her close. He tells her a little about Staten Island while they walk and then they duck into a pizzeria. Kurt smiles, inhaling the aroma.

"There's a pizza here I think you're gonna like. The best on Staten Island." They sit and he orders the pizza and it comes out piping hot, with a vodka cream sauce, fresh mozzarella and fresh basil.

"Dig in," Kurt smiles.

Smiling happily, Taylor takes a slice and lets it cool so she doesn't burn her mouth, but when she takes a bite her entire face lights up. She'd liked the Mexican food, she realizes. But she really does love this.

"Oh my God," she manages, even with her mouth full.

He smiles broadly when he hears and sees her reaction. It's the first time he's smiled this big for her, and he's so pleased. "Glad you like it."

She's struck by that smile, by the fact it's because of her, and there's that warm feeling again, the one that makes her crave more, and Taylor knows she never felt that with Sam.

"Can I...have a beer?" She asks like it's something scandalous, even if she knows she's fully capable of ordering a beer if she wants.

The question actually makes him laugh. "You want a beer? Of course you can have a beer," he reaches out to squeeze her hand and calls out to the server. A pitcher of beer is brought over just a moment later, with frosted mugs, and Kurt pours them both some drinks, sipping his own beer.

Taking a sip, she hums happily, then eats until she's full, even sharing a small dessert pizza with him. This night, she has so many reasons to smile, and she is, happy and warm and full of good food. As they walk back to the ferry, Taylor speaks softly, admitting something out loud.

"I wouldn't have had this much fun with Sam. Not like this."

He wonders if it's too much to hope, that she's falling for him all over again. But it's a big step in the right direction, and he feels warmth flooding through him at her words.

"You wouldn't. Trust me. Sam has terrible taste in pizza," Kurt jokes with a grin, but it's clear he appreciates the sentiment.

She laughs softly at that, tugging his scarf around her neck a little more, dipping her head a bit because it smells like him, and something instinctually makes her feel so comforted by being surrounded in him.

Once they're on the water again, the smooth motion, begins to make her drowsy, and once again her head comes to rest on his shoulder. But this time she falls asleep, relaxing against his side.

Kurt wraps an arm around her to hold her securely. He can feel when she's asleep, and he just holds onto her, taking a deep breath. Turning to press a soft kiss to her head, he whispers, "I love you." He's sure she can't hear him so it feels safe, and he keeps a strong hold on her the entire trip back to Manhattan.

When they have to walk back, Taylor's drowsy, but she leans against him, an arm looped around his waist as they make their way to the apartment. Once their safe inside, it's still dark, lights not even turned on yet, but she faces him, standing close and speaking in such a sleepy voice.

"I had a good time tonight, Kurt."

He wonders if he can get away with this while she's sleepy; he just needs to hold her, his arms aching for the weight and warmth of her. So when she's facing him, he smiles softly, stepping forward just to hold onto her, hugging her but not letting go. His hold on her is light, tender.

"Me, too."

Her arms instantly loop around him, and her head nestles against his chest. "I want to do it all again." And she doesn't let go either, standing right there in the entryway with him, breathing him in and closing her eyes.

"We will. We'll go somewhere new this weekend," he promises softly. There's a lot still for her to explore, for him to show her, and he's looking forward to it, he realizes. He doesn't even think much about it as he reaches out to rest his hand on the back of her head, stroking her hair idly.

"I'll show you Coney Island, we'll get some hotdogs. I'll take you to Rockefeller Center," he promises.

She smiles softly, means to reply, but then his fingers are in her hair and she just hums, falling asleep standing up right against him. She just feels safe, happy, and secure.

He smiles softly, pressing a soft kiss to her temple before carefully lifting her up into his arms and carrying her to bed. He takes her shoes off, takes the scarf off, moves slowly so he doesn't jostle her too much. Once she seems comfortable and she's tucked in, he kisses her forehead and sets her phone down by her bed with a note to watch the video labeled Kurt when she wakes up. Then he leaves, shutting the door and going to bed.

Taylor sleeps so soundly, and when she wakes in the morning, a little later than normal, she smiles softly because she knows he must have brought her here. When she sees the phone, Jane sits up and smiles, not sure what to expect.

When she watches it, it's herself again.

Taylor, or maybe you're still going by Jane, I don't know. But, once I do this, I'm going to forget Kurt. You won't know him. You won't know that you love him. I think...I think I'll always know. It's a feeling. Like...you're home when you're with him. Being with him is warm and safe and right. And I - you - love him. He's everything, he's...just trust yourself. Because he loves you, I know he does, and he won't stop just because of this. He'll always wait for us.

By the time the video ends, Taylor's crying, and she watches it again, and again. Everything she's told herself is true, and she moves out of her room after changing her clothes, wearing actual pajamas now as she goes to the living room. And when she doesn't see him there, she goes to his room, knocking softly on his door.

Kurt's just woken up when she knocks and he slips a light sweater on, wearing that with sweatpants. He's a little nervous, not sure if she watched the video and not sure how she'll react if she did. But he opens his door to her, a soft smile on his face. It's clear she's been crying, though, and his smile disappears into a frown.

"Taylor - are you kay?"

"You love me," she whispers, swallowing hard as she looks up at him. "You love me." She has no idea what else to say, and then she just wraps her arms around him, holding him tightly. Because she doesn't remember. She doesn't remember, but he hasn't stopped. She knows he loves her because every touch, every look at her, she's seen it. And maybe she didn't know what it was, maybe she didn't realize what she was seeing, but now she does. Now it's perfectly clear.

He closes his eyes when she reaches out to hug him and only hesitates a moment before reaching out to hug her in return, just holding her close to him. "I love you," he whispers, knowing she won't say it back, she can't. She doesn't love him yet. But he has hope now that she really could love him again.

Breathing him in, closing her eyes, Taylor just holds him. "I know you do. And I...thank you, for doing this. For understanding what I needed to do." She pulls back just a little, just enough, and looks into his eyes.

"I know why I didn't want to go out with Sam. It's because...I wanted to go out with you. Even before that video, I knew."

He almost can't believe what he's hearing, but it's wonderful. So wonderful. It's a start, at least, a small step in the right direction.

"You knew? You...you felt it?"

"I don't know what it is," she whispers. "I don't know, but I know...you make me feel like things do make sense, even when they don't. I know you make me feel safe and wanted and like I won't get lost in my own head."

He nods, pulling back a little more and just squeezing her hand lightly. He won't ask or expect anything of her. This is all on her terms, at her pace.

Over the next few days, Taylor feels like she has a new purpose, she goes out with him, she feels like she's finally relaxed. Because everything she was feeling is right, she's supposed to love him.

Three weeks later, while he's working a little late, Taylor picks up Mexican food from the first place he took her, all of their favorite things, and she makes sure she has it when he gets home. It's late, but she's still awake, and dressed, waiting on him.

for endingpoint

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