dustofstars | for endingpoint

He looks over at her, watching the way her eyes catch the flickering lights. She's beautiful. But...he doesn't want to scare her by saying that out loud.

"A few blocks from here, there's an ice skating rink and a...big Christmas tree. The biggest one in the country. It'll go up in a few weeks and I'll bring you back so you can see it."

For now, though, he doesn't want to stay too long if she needs some breathing room. But there's a food truck selling specialty hot chocolates, among other things, and Kurt orders two drinks for them, handing her a cup and letting go of her hand to cup his drink.

"It's called hot chocolate."

With a lopsided smile, Taylor looks up at him and holds her cup, letting it warm her hands. And for a brief moment, her eyes just linger on his, watching him before finally taking a sip and humming softly. It warms her unlike anything else, and her smile widens as she looks at him again.

"This is perfect, Kurt." Her voice is softer now, and she's closer to him, sharing the warmth and smell of the drinks between them.

He holds her gaze for a moment as well, a soft smile on his lips as he gives her a friendly nod. "Glad you like it."

Once they make it back to his apartment, he figures she's ready to see the videos she recorded for herself, though not the one labeled 'Kurt' just yet. So after she's changed into her pajamas and is heading to bed, Kurt stops her, holding out the phone.

"I haven't been completely honest with you about what's happened. To protect you. Your amnesia-" He looks down at the phone and hands it to her. He's erased the video about him on the phone, saved it to his phone instead so he can show her when he thinks she's ready. "There are two videos on there. You recorded them for yourself. I know this sounds crazy, but just watch them. It explains everything."

She's absolutely puzzled, but she takes the phone and looks from it up to him. "I...knew this was going to happen?" Taylor asks, forehead creasing, not sure what to think. But she trusts him and goes to her room, settling on the bed and watching both of the videos five times, alternating back and forth. And then she goes to Kurt's room, knocking on the door looking shell shocked.

Kurt's dressed in his boxers and a long-sleeve shirt and his heart sinks to his throat when he hears the knock. He's not sure what she'll think, how she'll react to him. But he takes a deep breath and opens the door, his face a tight mask.

"You okay?"

"You found me," she says, voice breaking. "And now you've lost me again."

It all makes sense now, perfectly. She understands completely why he'd been so out of touch at first. "But..you let me do what I thought I needed," she whispers, looking up at him, tears filling her eyes.

He sucks in a breath through his nostrils, nodding to confirm. His arms cross loosely over his chest for a moment and he looks down, just for a second. But then he raises his head and meets her eyes, seeing the tears there. He can't help reaching out then, just to rest a hand on her arm.

"You...you were in a lot of pain."

"She...I....said not to ask, and I won't. If I needed to forget, then...." It was for a reason, and she'll respect that both for herself and for his sake. And then she reaches in return, holding onto him tightly.

"Thank you," she says softly. Because taking care of her now can't be easy. It just...it can't, not with all of the history between them, not when he's been fighting for her for so long.

"You weren't...sleeping. You weren't eating. I tried - I thought I could help. I thought I could...save you." He hadn't been able to save her when she was a kid and he'd hoped this would have been his chance, that he could pull her back from the darkness she'd fallen into. But he couldn't. He'd failed again.

"I just wanted you to be happy and this - this was the only way, in the end."

Without hesitation, Taylor pulls him into her arms, hugging him tightly and just holding him. He'd pushed aside whatever he wanted for her and let her do this, let her figure out her own way and heal in a way that she felt was best for her.

"Thank you for being a person I can obviously trust. With everything." That much she does know for sure.

Kurt's not expecting the hug but he responds quickly, holding onto her almost tightly for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he says, "Knowing you can sleep at night without terrible dreams - it's all worth it for that." Even if she never comes back to him the way she was, he's just glad she can be at peace.

Softly, Taylor kisses his cheek. "Goodnight, Kurt," she says softly, deciding to leave him alone. But she's grateful to him. She's thankful she has him, and she wants to know him, more now than ever.

"Goodnight, Taylor," he murmurs, saying her name for the first time out loud. He smiles a little and shuts the door after she leaves.

A few days later, while Kurt is at work, Taylor decides she wants to go for a walk. She can figure it out, she has her security detail, and it should be fine. But then she gets swallowed by such a large Christmas crowd, and she can't see the men, and they can't see her. She doesn't have the phone, and she doesn't know his address to even try to get home.

She doesn't know what to do, so she finds the only thing that looks familiar, the hot chocolate stand, and just sits, completely lost, feeling like a failure, like she can't even navigate a few blocks.

Kurt is panicking when he hears that she's missing, and he thinks he's lost her. Again. He keeps losing her, over and over again. It takes a few hours, with them searching the city to no avail. Finally Patterson asks him if she's been anywhere recently, if she'd think to go anywhere in particular. So he goes to the Mexican restaurant first and when she's not there, he tries to think. The hot chocolate vendor. He can't remember exactly where it is, so he just jogs down Fifth Avenue, calling out her name. Finally, he spots her.

"Taylor!"

When Taylor hears him, her head snaps up, and when she sees him, she jumps up and launches herself into his arms, holding onto him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought it would be okay with the security detail," she says quickly.

But clearly this was a mistake and she's shaking a little - partly from cold and partly from fear.

His heart is pounding with fear and he takes a deep breath as he holds onto her just as tightly, closing his eyes a moment and just feeling grateful that she's here, she's safe. His hand rests on the back of her head for a moment, keeping her close.

"You're safe, it's okay. It's all that matters." He pulls back then, shrugging out of his coat and draping it over his shoulders. "Come on, I'll take you home."

When she sees how close they are to his apartment she feels even worse once he lets her inside. "I didn't...I didn't realize how close I was, I should have been able to find my way."

"It's okay. Really. It's easy to get turned around," he assures her, squeezing her hand. Then he leads her upstairs to his apartment.

"Just relax now, okay? Sit down, I'll make hot chocolate." It's too late in the day for coffee, but he figures a warm drink will soothe her nerves a little. Once the drinks are made, he brings over two mugs, sitting with her on the couch.

"Thank you," she murmurs, and she's sitting close to him because she just needs to be close.

"I didn't...want you to feel like you had to be my babysitter. But as it turns out, I guess I need one," she says as she looks down into the mug.

"Nah, I don't think so," he says nonchalantly, trying to get her to loosen up. "Don't beat yourself up, okay? It worked out, it's fine."

She's trying to relax, sinking down into the couch as she drinks her hot chocolate. They watch a random movie, and once she's done with her drink, the mug goes to the coffee table. And then, as the minutes tick by and she's warm and knows she's safe, Taylor begins nodding off, until her head falls heavily on his shoulder.

Kurt turns his head just slightly, seeing that she's fallen asleep. He takes a deep breath and then kisses her temple softly, wrapping an arm around her waist. He holds onto her until the movie is over and then he gently and carefully lifts her up into his arms, carrying her to her bed and tucking her in. He pauses a moment, just watching her breathe and sleep peacefully with no fear of nightmares. He wants to whisper that he loves her but he can't take that chance right now. Instead, he kisses her forehead and leaves, letting her sleep.

When she finally starts going to the office again, everyone seems to tiptoe around her and Taylor feels a little self-conscious. But she likes being there on her own time, whenever she can help Patterson with anything, she does. The two of them become fast friends and go out every now and then for drinks, but she always comes home to Kurt.

For the next three weeks, they steadily get closer, with Kurt opening up more and more. Kurt thinks she might be ready to watch that video about him soon, but he still waits. There's a guy at work, though, who's been getting friendly with Taylor. He's nice, friendly, makes her laugh a lot. The guy is always smiling, wears his heart on his sleeve. He's nothing like Kurt; his emotions aren't locked down, he's not closed off, he's just kind and has a big heart. And he likes Taylor a lot.

Kurt tries to ignore it, but on a Friday afternoon, he's making his way to the lab to ask Patterson and Jane something. Then he sees the guy - Sam - standing by Taylor, smiling at her. They're laughing and having a good time. He leans in, resting a hand on her arm, and asks her out on a date that night, after work. It's then that Kurt walks in and he hears the question posed to her.

"Ah. Sorry. I'll give you a minute," he says, walking right back out. He doesn't want to intrude but he also doesn't want to hear Taylor agree.

for endingpoint

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