dustofstars | for endingpoint

She blinks at the sheer amount of food, the smile on her face a little lopsided now as she tries to decide what to go for first. She decides on something that looks already assembled, the tacos, and takes a bite, chewing thoughtfully before humming in approval. Then, she goes for it with gusto, since she knows it's a taste she likes.

Once she gets going, she doesn't really stop, and as it turns out, she can pack in a lot of food when it's this good. It's clear that her favorite is the tacos, she eats more of those than anything, but she makes a good dent in the nachos too and even has a fajita before she's letting out a breath.

"I think if I try to eat any more I'll explode."

"You did pretty good," he smirks, looking impressed. Maria comes to box up all the leftovers for them, and Kurt wipes his mouth, leaning back in his chair and finishing off his drink. "We can walk around a bit before we head back if you want."

"I think I need to walk," Taylor comments with a small grin at him. Once they're ready, she slips on the coat and walks beside him, taking a deep breath of the chilly air.

"I really loved that. You said I like pizza too though, so...we have to try that soon. Because it's hard to imagine liking something as much as I liked that."

"We can get pizza tomorrow, if you want," he offers, stuffing his hands into his pockets and leading her down a side street that will take them to 5th Ave so they can head into the heart of the city. "It's gonna get really busy in just a minute," he tells her so she's prepared. He reaches out, though, taking her hand so she's not nervous. Then they turn a corner and they're walking down one of the busiest sidewalks in Manhattan. With the holidays approaching, the city is lit up with holiday lights, bustling with activity.

It's so much, and Taylor's hand in his tightens. He's with her, and that makes her less nervous, but it's a lot to take in. The sheer number of people is almost overwhelming. She stays close to him, eyes wide as she looks at all the lights and building, head mostly craned up as she tries to see all of the lights and billboards, mouth hanging open slightly.

"You okay?" He asks, looking over at her, squeezing her hand. He doesn't want her to feel too overwhelmed. It's a lot, maybe too much all at once.

"I just...can't believe there's this many people here," she says as she looks over at him. But she feels like she can't take her eyes off of what's directly in front of her for longer than a couple of seconds.

"But it's...beautiful. All of it is beautiful."

He looks over at her, watching the way her eyes catch the flickering lights. She's beautiful. But...he doesn't want to scare her by saying that out loud.

"A few blocks from here, there's an ice skating rink and a...big Christmas tree. The biggest one in the country. It'll go up in a few weeks and I'll bring you back so you can see it."

For now, though, he doesn't want to stay too long if she needs some breathing room. But there's a food truck selling specialty hot chocolates, among other things, and Kurt orders two drinks for them, handing her a cup and letting go of her hand to cup his drink.

"It's called hot chocolate."

With a lopsided smile, Taylor looks up at him and holds her cup, letting it warm her hands. And for a brief moment, her eyes just linger on his, watching him before finally taking a sip and humming softly. It warms her unlike anything else, and her smile widens as she looks at him again.

"This is perfect, Kurt." Her voice is softer now, and she's closer to him, sharing the warmth and smell of the drinks between them.

He holds her gaze for a moment as well, a soft smile on his lips as he gives her a friendly nod. "Glad you like it."

Once they make it back to his apartment, he figures she's ready to see the videos she recorded for herself, though not the one labeled 'Kurt' just yet. So after she's changed into her pajamas and is heading to bed, Kurt stops her, holding out the phone.

"I haven't been completely honest with you about what's happened. To protect you. Your amnesia-" He looks down at the phone and hands it to her. He's erased the video about him on the phone, saved it to his phone instead so he can show her when he thinks she's ready. "There are two videos on there. You recorded them for yourself. I know this sounds crazy, but just watch them. It explains everything."

She's absolutely puzzled, but she takes the phone and looks from it up to him. "I...knew this was going to happen?" Taylor asks, forehead creasing, not sure what to think. But she trusts him and goes to her room, settling on the bed and watching both of the videos five times, alternating back and forth. And then she goes to Kurt's room, knocking on the door looking shell shocked.

Kurt's dressed in his boxers and a long-sleeve shirt and his heart sinks to his throat when he hears the knock. He's not sure what she'll think, how she'll react to him. But he takes a deep breath and opens the door, his face a tight mask.

"You okay?"

"You found me," she says, voice breaking. "And now you've lost me again."

It all makes sense now, perfectly. She understands completely why he'd been so out of touch at first. "But..you let me do what I thought I needed," she whispers, looking up at him, tears filling her eyes.

He sucks in a breath through his nostrils, nodding to confirm. His arms cross loosely over his chest for a moment and he looks down, just for a second. But then he raises his head and meets her eyes, seeing the tears there. He can't help reaching out then, just to rest a hand on her arm.

"You...you were in a lot of pain."

"She...I....said not to ask, and I won't. If I needed to forget, then...." It was for a reason, and she'll respect that both for herself and for his sake. And then she reaches in return, holding onto him tightly.

"Thank you," she says softly. Because taking care of her now can't be easy. It just...it can't, not with all of the history between them, not when he's been fighting for her for so long.

"You weren't...sleeping. You weren't eating. I tried - I thought I could help. I thought I could...save you." He hadn't been able to save her when she was a kid and he'd hoped this would have been his chance, that he could pull her back from the darkness she'd fallen into. But he couldn't. He'd failed again.

"I just wanted you to be happy and this - this was the only way, in the end."

Without hesitation, Taylor pulls him into her arms, hugging him tightly and just holding him. He'd pushed aside whatever he wanted for her and let her do this, let her figure out her own way and heal in a way that she felt was best for her.

"Thank you for being a person I can obviously trust. With everything." That much she does know for sure.

Kurt's not expecting the hug but he responds quickly, holding onto her almost tightly for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he says, "Knowing you can sleep at night without terrible dreams - it's all worth it for that." Even if she never comes back to him the way she was, he's just glad she can be at peace.

Softly, Taylor kisses his cheek. "Goodnight, Kurt," she says softly, deciding to leave him alone. But she's grateful to him. She's thankful she has him, and she wants to know him, more now than ever.

"Goodnight, Taylor," he murmurs, saying her name for the first time out loud. He smiles a little and shuts the door after she leaves.

A few days later, while Kurt is at work, Taylor decides she wants to go for a walk. She can figure it out, she has her security detail, and it should be fine. But then she gets swallowed by such a large Christmas crowd, and she can't see the men, and they can't see her. She doesn't have the phone, and she doesn't know his address to even try to get home.

She doesn't know what to do, so she finds the only thing that looks familiar, the hot chocolate stand, and just sits, completely lost, feeling like a failure, like she can't even navigate a few blocks.

Kurt is panicking when he hears that she's missing, and he thinks he's lost her. Again. He keeps losing her, over and over again. It takes a few hours, with them searching the city to no avail. Finally Patterson asks him if she's been anywhere recently, if she'd think to go anywhere in particular. So he goes to the Mexican restaurant first and when she's not there, he tries to think. The hot chocolate vendor. He can't remember exactly where it is, so he just jogs down Fifth Avenue, calling out her name. Finally, he spots her.

"Taylor!"

When Taylor hears him, her head snaps up, and when she sees him, she jumps up and launches herself into his arms, holding onto him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought it would be okay with the security detail," she says quickly.

But clearly this was a mistake and she's shaking a little - partly from cold and partly from fear.

His heart is pounding with fear and he takes a deep breath as he holds onto her just as tightly, closing his eyes a moment and just feeling grateful that she's here, she's safe. His hand rests on the back of her head for a moment, keeping her close.

"You're safe, it's okay. It's all that matters." He pulls back then, shrugging out of his coat and draping it over his shoulders. "Come on, I'll take you home."

When she sees how close they are to his apartment she feels even worse once he lets her inside. "I didn't...I didn't realize how close I was, I should have been able to find my way."

for endingpoint

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